I've just watched...

I want to read the book.

I think it would be a good idea for me to start reading again, I can't wait to get lost in a fairytale, or in a story like 'My Sister's Keeper.' I think it's going to help with my sketching as well, I've been at a block for a while. Bring it on!

Lyricslyricslyrics.

And does it make you sad,
To find yourself alone,
And does it make you mad,
To find that I have grown.
I'll bet it hurts so bad,
To see the strength that I have shown.
When you answer the door pick up the phone,
You wont find me cause I'm not coming home.
You do not know how much this hurts me,
To say these things that I don't want to say,
But have to say them anyway,
I would do anything to end your suffering,
But you would rather walk away.


'I'm giving up on giving you my heart.'

Booklist 2011..

Gilles Deleuze - 'Francis Bacon: The Logic of Sensation'
Andy Warhol - 'POPism: The Warhol Sixties'
Steven Little - 'ISMs: Understanding Art'
Immanuel Kant - 'Critique of Pure Reason'
Immanuel Kant - 'Critique of Practical Reason'
Immanuel Kant - 'Critique of Judgement'
Natasha Walter - 'Living Dolls: The Return of Sexism'
Nicholas Bourriaud - 'Relational Aesthetics'
Tony Godfrey - 'Conceptual Art'
Cynthia Freeland - 'But Is It Art?: An Introduction to Art Theory'


There are a few more, but for now these are the ones I'm most keen on getting (sooner rather than later.) One of the things I'd like to achieve this year is a better understanding of the philosophy that we study in the 'Contemporary Art and Theory' lectures. There are also a coupe of books in this list to help my art language, because at the moment I suck at using the correct terminology.

So... today I

wrote you a letter.

Although this time I have every intention on getting it to you, see it's honest - and I think I may sound like a 5 year old all the way through it, there are so many mistakes you can count them, but at least I've done it now. I've said what I needed to, well to some extent anyway. Oh, and I may have accidentally started to doodle on it... sorry, I couldn't help it, some of the time I was so lost for words that I started sketching.


♥

Lock me up in starbucks?

I'd like to go back to 2010 please.

So far, January 2011 SUCKS.
I hate it, and we're only 4 days in!
If the new year continues on this way I have no idea how much I am willing to take of it, and I'm not really pleased with the idea of trying to just carry on as if nothing is wrong. Seriously - why? You're meant to start the year as you mean to go on, and this is anything but what I had expected. I hope things improve, even just a little, that would be fine.

I climbed your arms,
then you pulled away,
a new cavity moved into
my heart today.
The more I scream,
the more it seems
that now I'm through,
now I'm through.



So listen 2011 all I want from you is simply this... a few nights where I am able to sleep all the way through, from a decent time to a decent time. None of this 4am - 7am shit please. No panic attacks, I have had enough! I want my appetite back please, I'm fed up of not feeling hungry. I miss food! I'd like to stop living off of tea and water. It's NOT healthy. Oh.. and maybe a good grade at the end of the year? Thanks.

♥ Oh dear.

Maybe I know, somewhere deep in my soul, that love never lasts and we’ve got to find different ways to make it alone, keep a straight face. And I’ve always lived like this. Keeping a comfortable distance and up until now I had sworn to myself that I’m content with loneliness because none of it was ever worth the risk. Well, you are the only exception.
I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up. Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.