i feel

f#cking ugly.
FAT.
& f#cking ugly! (Yes i'm aware I wrote this twice)

I've gained weight, and this has to stop.
I'm going to make some serious changes.

I can't live like this.
How can he like me this way? I must have gained two sizes in the 2 and whatever years that we've ben together. He's loosing it and i'm gaining it. I hate my body. I need to loose weight. I want to feel pretty! I want to feel sexy! And I want him to think i'm sexy, being me at the moment is hard. I'm loosing the will to appreciate what people feel for me, how can they like me when i'm doing this to myself? This is ridiculous! THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!

I think i'm loosing him.
I couldn't stand that for one second.
I want to be the perfect size 10 I was when we met.
Please make this feeling go away.
Help me loose weight, and have the will power to stop eating so much shit! I'll proove I can do it somehow!