Yorkyorkyork.

I'm going on holiday tomorrow...
Not 100% excited to be honest, but I'm working on it. I've never been and I don't know what to expect, maybe some sheep and fields??? Gahhh! I'm pretty tired.




G'night.

Morph.

I've been playing with the delights of morphthing.com and the idea came to me to morph my face with the genius Albert Einstein. I personally hope that I look this good when I reach 70/80 years old!

So far...

The drawing is going really well, but I need to stop relying on tracing the outlines, I'm going do work on my free hand sketching. Starting with... a portrait of Ville Valo, hopefully I'll do a good job.

Wish me luck.

Today I fell in love...

This is exact journal that I have been looking for, I've been searching for ages for a book like this that I can put images, drawings and things in. But the stupid thing is that I had no money to buy it, but I have found it only for a few pounds cheaper! Anyway, I'm off to draw... bye.

I may have just

killed myself.


I wrote earlier in a status that I'd spend my summer (as of tomorrow) drawing/sketching/doodling/painting, I will get myself to Beaconsfield tomorrow and buy myself new sketch books so I can start. I will get busy doing my art, I love art and I personally don't feel that I'm giving it enough attention, so as of tomorrow it will be my life! I want to feel like I did about art in Alevels, I want to thrive on the work I produce, and aim to better myself, I'm itching to do so, and tomorrow I will start this new step. I'd also like to start taking photos, maybe making some sort of journal, with photos drawings etc..? I'm not quite sure, but once a week I'll post what I've been doing, just so that my progress is recorded.

Yawn.

Progress is going very slowly.
But I've cleared out my whole wardrobe, two big bags worth of clothes. It was weird to see all the stuff I have kept, I also found the two shirts that were signed at the end of year 6 and year 11. It was really nice to see all the different signatures, brought back a fair few memories! I'll get back to work on my room tomorrow making sure to throw out EVERYTHING I don't need or want.
It's hard work but I will idy my whole room.

Week ended.

I'm sat relaxing, watching Disney Cinemagic - Lilo and Stitch at the moment, soaking up what's left of my weekend as I will be spending my week throwing out everything. For example; clothes, books, Cd's and just the random crap that has been floating around my bedroom for ages, which desperately needs moving.

Day1 Monday - Clothes.
Day2 Tuesday - General rubbish.
Day3 Wednesday - Books/Cd's/videos/DVDs.
Day4 Thursday - Sort out what ever is left.

I will make progress!

Currently...

I'm watching Supersize vs Superskinny and I'm thinking about all the blogs I've written about my bodysize.. Here are two recent full length pictures of me:

I really don't like them at all.
So here's a breakdown of my size at the moment:
Clothes size: 14 FAT!
Bra size: 36FF FAT!
Shoe size: 8
I want to be my old self... my smaller self, at least a size 12 if not 10. A lot of work has to be done to put this plan into action, and I have started to do weekly workouts with Joe to help me get fit. Then as soon as mum sorts herself out, we'll be joining weight watchers to help us with eating healthily, this will hopefully help me to get to my ideal size and weight...
So here's a picture of me, when I'm a size 12 and happy with how I look:

> God, Help me get the motivaion!

Take 1.

I like this picture, because my skin looks unblemished, I look peaceful. It was taken on my web cam purely because I needed a profile picture, so it was just a quick snap - so to speak. I'm quite happy with how I felt when this was taken, I was actually really pleased with how I looked, I just need to achieve that again....

Yesterday..

a friend put in her status that if you were to reply what she'd written she'd comment you back with a blunt opinion on her opinion of you. Now usually I don't care about this sort of thing, but I thought to myself why not, let's see how brutally honest she is with me, and it turns out she had nothing bad to say about me, although she did point out a few things about me I already know though.

> Low self-esteem/confidence.
> Also telling people what I really think of them, causing a fair bit of inner rage which is usually channeled through a mass amount of doodling.

This is something that I have been battling since about the age of 13, and I'm fully aware that I let it show within what I do. But his doesn't mean I know to improve upon it, I've got to find a way to see myself in a better light.. oh I don' know. It's no good me keep writing about it, because in reality I'm no going to bother changing, I've grown a little in confidence since uni, but I'm not sure how to improve on my thoughts about myself.. I want to start putting images on here that inspire me to think differently, when a photo of me is taken that I like for one reason or another I will upload it and write why I like it, and maybe I'll see myself differently?

Starting tonight.