If only...

I'd read the books that other kids did, maybe it would have given me the correct vocabulary and writing abilities that they all seemed to have. If only I'd learnt to appreciate myself for who I am, rather than forever hate myself, forever put myself down. Maybe then would I be able to write my careers assignments.
I cannot bring myself to write my positives.
I don't see what I have that a potential employer would want from me.

I'm pretty sure I'm pissing everyone off by getting so pissed off at something that, to them is something so simple. I can see that they're just getting annoyed with me, at my constant complaints about not being able to write 2/3 sentences on myself. I know it's ridiculous, but I'm finding this so difficult - I wish I didn't, but I guess that's what happens when you hide behind false smiles for the entirety of your childhood.
I'm aware that I'm 20, almost 21 years old, and should have been able to get over past events; but I haven't okay. Judge me all you want - I get it.

Please just try to see it from my perspective.